Through everything we have experienced we have had so much love and support. The many prayers on our behalf meant so much to us, and we would like to share a miracle with you. Let's go back:
In January last year, when all this began, I was told Kent was going to die on several occasions. Things calmed down a little and they said he shouldn't die for quite some time, but we were told things were still very serious and life altering. I held my breath and prayed, trying not to cry. As long as he wasn't going to die, we could handle whatever came our way, right? Right before leaving the doctors office an important conversation came up. "Just so you know, you will not ever, at least most likely never, have another baby." I can't begin to explain the pain that we felt hearing that. It was like I knife, straight to the heart. Nothing short of divine intervention would bring us the chance at being pregnant again. Some of you know the struggle we went through to have our little Kennedy. We waited anxiously (and possibly not very patiently on my part) for a sweet baby and after 2 1/2 years and 4 miscarriages later our prayers were answered. Kent and I had both dreamed of a big family for as long as we both can remember and the struggle we faced was going to make that hard, but we had faith that in God's timing things would all work out. We had our son to love and enjoy and would hopefully have another on the way in a year! Then, 6 short months after our Kennedy was born, we were told that was it. "At least you had 1 before all of this." Our hopes weren't just dashed, they were being crushed into oblivion. You will never, NEVER, have another baby. I cried for 2 weeks (and intermittently after that) and held Kennedy more then my independent little guy wanted me to. First I was told I was losing my husband. When that was dispelled I was then told that my other great dream of a big family couldn't be. We prayed and fasted and read the scriptures and received Priesthood blessings, seeking answers. We saw multiple doctors who offered no hope. "We're sorry. There is nothing to be done." "There is always a slight chance in this kind of circumstance, but realistically there is no hope given the cancer, chemotherapy, and past fertility history." Yet something kept telling us not to lose hope. That with God, nothing is impossible, that through Him, miracles can happen. We continued praying, hoping, and dreaming that someday another angel would come into our home, for Kennedy to get to be a big brother. Several new doctors later we finally found one doctor who had hope. Not a lot, but there was a glimmer. We latched onto that glimmer with everything we had. It meant more intense fertility therapies and treatments, but it was worth it.
And now, our miracle is on it's way. WE ARE GOING TO HAVE A BABY! We can't even begin to express our gratitude to our loving Heavenly Father who has answered our prayers. Fertility treatment is a wild roller coaster ride, and we are so grateful that our prayers were answered in this way. Not everyone gets that answer, and my heart breaks for them. I am so truly grateful that our part in the Father's plan includes this sweet spirit coming into our home. He/she will be loved so greatly! They will be our little miracle forever. We would normally wait longer than this to tell, but couldn't contain the excitement. We are 9 weeks! :)
We have also witnessed another, bitter sweet, miracle. Our beautiful angel had a sweet little twin. Our hearts broke yesterday as we learned that our second little miracle returned to our Father in Heaven's loving arms after only 9 short weeks with us. Our hearts are broken for the loss of our child, but are overjoyed at the joy of the miracle of the second life within me. The doctors started to worry about our little one last week, saying the sweet little one's heart just wasn't strong enough. The worry continued though because the loss of one looked like a guarantee that our second angel would also be called back to Heaven. Our Heavenly Father intervened again and we are witnessing the miracle of the second baby surviving and thriving! They said he/she is doing VERY well, for which we are grateful.
God works in mysterious ways. I wish both of my babies were coming, but the miracles we have witnessed have touched my heart. We are so thrilled for Kennedy to have a little sibling, and he loves to talk about the "bebe", and we can't wait for the wonderful day when I can get to hold all 5 of my angels that have already passed through the veil. In the meantime I will mourn the loss of one child and celebrate the life of the other. I can't wait to hold this little one!
Our cute little miracle! His/her little head is on the left and you can see 2 little white circles right by the head that are little hands. He/she was waving at us during the ultrasound and dancing like crazy! It was super adorable. :)
This is a sculpture in Slovakia sculpted by Martin Hudáčeka. I think it is so beautiful and expresses the love and emotion of those who experience the loss of a child, at any stage. I think it also shows the emotion of those who struggle with infertility, whether the inability to become pregnant or to carry a child to term. The love is real, and so is the pain, although most people usually try not to let others know their struggle.